its 3am and i have not slept all week maybe if i spill my guts i can catch some Zzz's.

boys, summer, house

I am the type of person that falls into "like" with some one rather easy, im easy going and I believe I connect well with people well after this falling in to like something goes wrong this has happened to me a lot in the past well year so I getting over it not working out but for some reason there has to be the one person that you stay bent up on....

I had reached the point where I believed I was over him even though I thought about him every day and checked the away message cause well when you like someone your always interested in what they were up to... There was something about him that was differnt he really hit me hard any other person I had been with I wished was him... pretty pathetic I know... I want to do something but there is nothing to do he is out of my mind as much I can get him out but every time I hit the bed I find myself thinking of him... Its crazy cause I have had my fair share of fellows every time something happens I come out with it alone and they get married, a girl friend, or always just move on to someone else when am I going to be the one that finds someone that makes ME happy.... I  thought  I had but wrong again...

Its weird school ended like 2 weeks ago and I feel like I have been away from everyone for so long... New Egypt man I swear its going to be the death of me. I used to LOVE it here... man what was wrong with me! Then I met some great people and lives away from my parents and their rules and curfew and I learned how to have a great time I met people that I truly can't live with out and I realized all the people here that I don't even want to deal with...  Being away from everyone all year really changes people when you get back together you realize everything is differnt and you don't want to do the same stuff you did with them... there are still 2 NE people that will always have my heart  you know who you are. But if this summer stays like this its going to be the death of me.

As of right now a few of my sisters and I are in the process of trying to get a place to live near school. There are so many Pros to this plan 1. way cheaper than the dorms 2. Move in soon and be with my sisters 3. No parent rules 4. Other.  However there are a few Cons but I don't feel like being negative about the situation... As much as I want this I don't know if its what I really want. But I want it soo Bad! I don't know why all of a sudden Im not as excited about this its all I wanted since the end of April. Its kinda bugging me that Im not as excited...

Latly I have been pretty blah about everything there is no one to time up time in my mind like emptyness....

I don't even know if any of this makes sense since its 3:30 in the morning and I have not slept all week sorry if you read this its just some of the things running though my head